guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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