What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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