apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
