You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
