And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
he thought i was a dude.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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