me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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