I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
being pregnant is like rehab
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
