I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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