I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
