yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
