I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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