after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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