wrigley field is MILF paradise
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
