I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
