PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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