I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
