Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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