And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
