i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
How does one acquire holy water?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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