so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
