I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Your dad touched me again.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
