Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
this beer tastes like vomit already
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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