yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
