I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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