u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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