People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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