Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize