Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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