Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
All the doctor said was why
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
