Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
