Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You're so nebulous sometimes
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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