This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
These 23 Groupies Had The Most Insane Sexual Experiences With Celebs
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
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I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.