I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
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Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
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You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.