I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."