Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Randomize
