I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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