just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Randomize
