Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
