My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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