I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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