When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize