Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
