I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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