Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
