Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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