ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize