I accidentally burped into my bong.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize