And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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