Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge