We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student