physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh