I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
