I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
