new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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