help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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