3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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