I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
