My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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