Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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