The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
