I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
