Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
