we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
