Reggie can tackle my bush.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
My bed smells like the plague
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
