i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
