The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
