the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize