Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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