hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
